just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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