I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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