Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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