I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize