There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize