I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize