I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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