her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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