My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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