why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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