I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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