Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me

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  (317): His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me http://tfl.nu/9tmv
  Replies (9) Good night (580) Bad night (2270) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes

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  (972): how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes http://tfl.nu/yix3
  Replies (73) Good night (949) Bad night (3656) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion

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  (314): What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion http://tfl.nu/5o7j
  Replies (15) Good night (5027) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?

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  (412): he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/rnh5
  Replies (64) Good night (3624) Bad night (5140) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..

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  (734): i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth.. http://tfl.nu/wfim
  Replies (17) Good night (3856) Bad night (1406) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

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  (717): I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better. http://tfl.nu/z41g
  Replies (13) Good night (4450) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.

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  (607): he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too. http://tfl.nu/lk4d
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (2745) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.

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  (785): I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well. http://tfl.nu/l51l
  Replies (3) Good night (5636) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.

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  (605): You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/7njn
  Replies (30) Good night (10384) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.

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  (330): I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse. http://tfl.nu/kxn7
  Replies (2) Good night (1852) Bad night (703)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often

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  (416): The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often http://tfl.nu/ivea
  Replies (7) Good night (2104) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.

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  (330): You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower. http://tfl.nu/aao1
  Replies (6) Good night (1238) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

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  (410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc
  Replies (7) Good night (1061) Bad night (261)
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  (585): View more from New York

  this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field

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  (585): this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field http://tfl.nu/wzry
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good

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  (757): You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good http://tfl.nu/ql8q
  Replies (8) Good night (569) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt

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