I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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