Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize