they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
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I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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