You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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