I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
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did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
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Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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