Actions speak louder than pants.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
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She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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