I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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