What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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