fuck your aforementioned shoe
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize