He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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