My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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