I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize