I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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