I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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