Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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