You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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