I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize