Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize