The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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