Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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