He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
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I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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