You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
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hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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