I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize