Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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