i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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