My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize