i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize