That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize