Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize