I am in a vortex of obligation.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize