You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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