I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize