I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize