A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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