i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize