Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize