i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize