3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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